Long time no write

Oh god, it’s practically killing me to be inside at the computer, watching the tree in my backyard swaying in the breeze.  It’s an incredibly beautiful spring day — we’ve been having an embarrassment of them in the last fortnight, and I just want to be outside.

Somehow I stopped writing.  Partly because I worked more than usual for a marathon-like three week period, and also because I’ve started weight-lifting.  This means uncommon fatigue after a workout, and this being the third one, I’m doing quite well by being conscious right now.

I am terrified that I am wasting my life.  I thought I’d just get that out there.  It seems that many people find meaning in raising children, but since that’s been definitively ruled out for me (by choice), here I am trying to find something to do with my life’s work.

And I’m probably PMS-ing, which makes all this worse.  I just wanted to get it all out there.

And I really should call my mom, but I’m dawdling.  It doesn’t really make a lot of sense.

And I gotta make oatmeal and pay the car insurance bill.

Today’s Zen exercise for the day told me to find some time away today away from the responsibilities, mentioning something about the sun with all the planets that orbit it, still finds time to ripen grapes.  As it turned out, I’d actually done that!  I was in a rush after going to Costco and desperately trying to remember what I needed to buy at 99 before I got there, when a voice inside me said, “Why don’t you take a quick walk at the dog park?  It’s a beautiful day, and look, you’re already perfectly dressed for it” (because I was).  So I did, and it was wonderful, what with the gorgeous springlike weather (I’ve been trying to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of it all these days) and during the walk POP! I realize that I want to buy rice.  Ah, isn’t it great to relax enough so that the thoughts can flow?

Nuts, just checked the weather for the rest of the week — steadily going up 5 degrees per day until Friday’s high is *ninety*.  Yucks!

So the weightlifting has been great, and I love that Zed & I are actually DOING SOMETHING instead of passively enjoying entertainment together.

I wanna bake Irish soda bread, but I’m trying to lose weight.