Cultivating Friendships

There is some hokey poster hanging at work:

Flowers, friends, and credit.  They all need to be cultivated.

But so true.  And I’m not doing so well on the first two counts.  Nah, just the first.  It’s the weeds, really.  But back on point, for some reason I suddenly find myself calling people, making plans, and sending emails in a flurry that even surprises me.

It’s like I’ve awakened from the winter doldrums, dampness, and dormant and I’m bursting like my backyard blooms to socialize, nosh, and make merry.  The longer days is key to all this…I’m so excited that the sun doesn’t set until 19:47 tonight, which I happen to know because I want to go to the Marina and take it in, in all its glory.  I feel kinda guilty for not taking advantage here, while I made such a point of it when we were in Hawaii.  It’s the same darn sun, and even the same darn ocean.

Anyway, so I called a friend last week, and she had just moved out of her old place the night before into her new home!   Also last week I emailed another friend, who I know from  college regarding the company she works for in the news.  And then I called another friend this week, and he’s getting a divorce, right after he made it through the seven-year itch.  (That one particularly saddened me, as I was at the wedding, and they seemed like such a happy couple, but, as I always say, you never know what’s going on in a marriage).  And I emailed another cadre of friends about a get-together in May after our April plans were dashed.  And I called yet-another friend this week to get together for brunch this Sunday, and it’s all good!

So even though I didn’t make a conscious effort to cultivate my friendships, maybe that darn poster at work did its magic.  I don’t care why or how, but like I said, I feel like a hiberating bear who’s just come out of her cave and needs to catch up with everybody.

Oh yes, I guess it’s also because I feel good these days about myself.  And I finally got around to doing the wardrobe upgrade I so desperately needed, what with all the weight I’ve lost.  I didn’t want to wear only black & charcoal grey slacks to work like I did last year (because I looked terrible in anything else, and I didn’t want to spend any money on “fat” clothes).  Now I have all capri- and other abbreviated leg pants in navy with white polka dots, red (!), and black, and basic khaki.  That was a huge pick-me-up, especially because I was dreading the shopping trip.

More Real Life Time Travel

Many years ago, 2001 to be exact, I was a temp.  It was a temp job while the regular guy was on vacation for the week, a simple Monday-to-Friday gig.  It was the week that encapsulated September 11, 2001.  But this isn’t a post about that fateful day.

I got along well with the staff, and they promised to call me the next time the regular guy went on vacation.  So, the following May I found myself there again for Memorial Day.

And I didn’t work there again, but a funny thing happened in 2003.  I found myself with my then-boyfriend in the house we had newly purchased together.  Not surprisingly, we had a ton of mail from the many former occupants who have also called this grouping of walls home.  Being a little OCD, I delighted in noting all the names of the people who still received mail here.  It was a long list with sixteen unique names on it.  I kept a Sharpie by the mailbox to easily scrawl “Addressee Unknown” on all those envelopes.  But I digress.

So one of spam we received was for a woman who had the exact name of one of those coworkers that I had gotten along famously with before.  It’s such a darn small world, it was her!  There had been a couple year interval between us living at said address.

A couple of years after that, I got a job within walking distance of that old business from 2001, and I thought to myself that I’d better go over and say hi to her before she stopped working there.  I am ashamed to say that I have worked there now for three years (in March) and just last week finally made the trip.  Keep in mind, now, I take a walk everyday at lunch, even when it rains, I just have my umbrella at the ready.  I usually walk for about thirty minutes.

To see my former co-worker, it was a seven minute walk.  I just always turned northbound, while she was southbound.

Well, last Friday I finally turned to the south.  Can’t say why I was moved to do so, but I did, and it was like walking into the past.  I experienced my own version of time travel.  Former Co-worker/Almost Roommate looked very similar, and I recognized the Other Former Co-worker, but couldn’t remember her name.

When OFC asked if I needed help, I said, “I worked here once, do you remember me?”  And she did!  She was essentially unchanged — not a hair on her head was more grey, her hairstyle was exactly the same, like she had been preserved in amber.

The three of us shared a high-spirited conversation full of laughter as we caught up over the years, and I walked back to my workplace full of joy and a heart full of gratitude.  That’s what’s great about having lived a while: you get great experiences like this one.

So I walked into 2001 in seven minutes on my lunch hour.