Back from the Big Island

Sigh….I have the post-vacation blues.  However, I am fortunate enough (and grateful) to have a day of transition before it’s back to work for me.  We saw everything that I’d hoped to see, except for rainbows.  That was because of the haziness caused by the volcanic activity that was going on right then.  In fact, the day we arrived, the rental car shuttle driver announced that residents of a subdivision in the path of the lava flow had been evacuated.

I vacated…my body & mind from home.  I was immersed in Hawaii and transported via my senses: the bright-yellow birds we encountered before we even left the rental car lot,  the sound of the palms swaying in the breeze on our lanai, feeling the searing heat of the lava as it flowed six feet away (and what a difference it made, just stepping back a foo or two!), the neon-turquoise beauty of the shallow water contrasted against the deep blue of the deep water.

I like that the Hawaiians refer to lava flow as the goddess Pele, and the metaphor continues as they describe the viscous flow as fingers, reaching out.  Standing next to Pele and seeing the bright-orange lava with its quickly-cooled black crust on top, I felt her slash away at my beauty, drying up my lips with her searing heat; she is one hottie.

Waking up the songs of rainforest birds when we stayed in Volcano Village, I didn’t know where I was, they were so unlike anything I’d ever heard before.  They seemed particularly beautiful and especially trilling, but it may have simply been my state of mind.

I had worried that my husband would be swept away by the beauty of Hawaii (and consequently ignore me) but I realize now that I was the one who was transported.

After eight focused weeks of weight loss through exercise (swim, bike, yoga) and sensible eating (no sweets except for fruit and Valentine’s Day truffles and many meals of beans& rice  broken only by homemade and vegetable-laden homemade soup) I arranged my storming of the Kona coast carefully the night before through Google maps: arrive at airport, proceed to Costco for bulk water supplies & bulk macadamia nuts and then quickly in succession — Kailua Candy Company and onward to Mrs Barry’s Kona Cookies!

The only disappointing thing about going to Kailua Candy was that it was our first day on an 8-day vacation, one that would include lots of driving around in a car; there was just no way that anything we bought would survive the trip.  We bought a low-priced sample box and vowed to return before we went off-island.

And Mrs Barry — oh, she did not disappoint.  Crisp cookies that were perfectly browned, butter-licious coconut shortbread (oh, I still regret not buying more when we had the chance), and new-on-me coffee cookies with chocolate chips. We were the only people in the store at the time and liberally sampled from the Free! dish.  I still can’t believe we only bought a dozen.

We sat in the car to munch on cookies while we planned our next move…and in that time a guy (obviously a local) had parked & had made his multiple-bag purchase (a dozen per bag) who joked on his way past, “Are you two going to sit in your car and eat all your cookies?” and we responded in unison, “Yup.”  It made him chuckle.

Poor Jeff was in his jeans (I hadn’t thought to tell him to wear one of the pairs of SPF pants with zip-off legs that we had bought expressly for this trip) and was quite uncomfortable in the sun’s mind-staggering heat.  He was ready for a shower, so we decided to hightail it to the B&B.

I had been a bit unsure about the quality of this B&B, because its price had been so low.  I still don’t know why they charge so little, but for three wonderful nights we had a gorgeous, extremely spacious, well-appointed one-bedroom apartment with a giant picture window and lanai facing the ocean.  Though I didn’t notice, Jeff realized the only thing missing in the kitchen was a stove/oven, but they had helpfully given us use of an enormous gas barbecue, complete with a side burner.

The funny thing is that while trying to decide which “suite” to book, I had read that the one we stayed in was suitable for four people, so I had dismissed it as too large for our needs.  [Passable for four, as two would have to sleep on a full-sized futon in the living room, but fantastic for two].

Fortunately for us, the other two suites were already reserved, so we had to take the larger one.  I couldn’t be any happier about it.  The next-largest didn’t have a private lanai and the smallest didn’t have an ocean view at all (it was the apartment below ours).

We had freshly-ground Kona coffee and a freshly-baked loaf of bread placed into a basket with assorted breakfast stuff delivered to our place every evening.  But later in our trip, we’d have Kona coffee beans to grind every morning in our coffee maker!

On our three breakfasts there, we had one loaf of banana bread & two of pineapple-coconut — just heavenly.  And Jeff ate his first-ever papaya and mango while there, too.

We caught every sunset except for the two while we were on the other side of the island in Volcano Village.  Our first night in Volcano, it was gently misting, and the second, it was overcast.

Though I remembered from my last trip to the Big Island the necessity of changing from my NoCal clothes stat at the airport, I couldn’t imagine how much I wanted my clothes off.  It was like my feet were suffocating in my sox & shoes (I knew better than to fly with flip flops & Hawaii wear — it just gets too darn cold at 35k feet) and it felt so good to take off my long-sleeved t-shirt layered over my black tank top.  Phew!

As Jeff remarked after I peeled the layer off, “You already look more Hawaiian.”  We had only disembarked and walked down the stairs to the tarmac at that point — another 50’s style relic that lives on in Hawaii, like the entire city of Hilo.

By the time we arrived at our B&B we were stuffed with cookies, which meant that it was time for macadamias.  Oh, I go through this every time I go to Hawaii…I consume so many macadamias in my first 24 hours that I simply don’t want to eat any more for the remainder of my trip.  This time was no different.

Our B&B hostess must have laughed when she saw our two enormous boxes of six-pack Mauna Loa macadamia nuts, because they were the exact brand that she left in our breakfast basket.  I guess we’re lucky she even left them, since she knew we had them.

Jeff read the nutrition label on the side of the nut can tut-tutting over the fat content.  “Don’t be a killjoy,” I pleaded, “I only eat them in Hawaii.”

So we showered with the coconut-mango shower gel and shampoo, and  moisturized with the coconut-mango lotion.  Everything associated with body products smelled like dessert.  I warned Jeff that he might be awakened by me licking his arm.

Then we just rested in that beautiful bedroom, listening to the birds flirt and luxuriating in a king-sized bed.  Then our thoughts turned to sex.

Then we went to Hapuna Beach for the sunset, one of the prettiest beaches on all of the Big Island, and turned in for the night.

The flight over had been interminable, so when we finally touched down, it felt like we had time-traveled when we landed around 12 noon.

Trivia Crazy

Going to play trivia tonight — it should be fun.

Read “Do I Look Fat in This?” which was a good reminder to go on vacation to a beach destination, even if you don’t like how you look in a bathing suit.  Why would you want your world to shrink?

Now am on McWhorter’s “Authentically Black.”  He’s a black conservative, which can raise hackles, but he seems to make a lot of sense.

February ‘Flu

I got the flu last February and it seems to have arrived on its first-year anniversary this year. And I had just been talking to my sis about how nice the weather is, how spring is here already, and how great that I didn’t get sick this winter!

Past two days have just been miserable and incredibly low energy. Anything other than walking from one room to another was too much work. No kidding! It wasn’t a lack of desire, it was the inability to contemplate checking the answering machine, or sitting upright at the computer.

I had bursts of energy, but mostly I was a mess.

Fever with attendant lack of mental sharpness.

Aches in all my muscles.

Soul and body crushing fatigue.

Some runny nose, but no throat pain yet I have lost some of my voice.

Day Off!

I was supposed to sleep in this morning but woke up at 0530, as I have been this week.   It was fantastic.

We had early-am sex, then did DDR to continue the cardio workout, had breakfast, showered, loaded the dishwasher, loaded the washing machine, and out the door, all before 9am!

Then I had my yearly optometrist exam (no change in 4+ years) and then I walked to the bakery to stock up on bread.

Next I will walk to my chiropractic appointment, after vacuuming the house and finishing all the dishes (this is one of those affirmation things, except it isn’t, because I didn’t use the present tense).

Just read a blog post titled, “I should be sweeping.”  Damn!  Got me right between the eyes.

Last night was “Lost,” which was pretty good.  If you’ve been watching, you know that they’ve been doing flashbacks for the first three seasons, until the final episode, where there was a flash-forward!  And they continued the FF last night, which is sad because they all seem tortured and unhappy after they got rescued.

Oh, the beautiful Hawaiian beach, sand, and water.  And we will be there, in one month exactly!  Woo hoo!

Exercise

is the balm for my soul.  It is the only thing that consistently elevates my mood (even if it doesn’t need elevating) and leaves me with a sense of well-being (physical & emotional) for hours afterward.  I am in such a state right now.  Everything is great; I am great.

I rode my bike to the gym on a blustery, cold day and then hit the pool with twenty laps of interval swimming, alternating freestyle, back, and breast stroke.  Then I showered and rode my bike home in a kind of cool-down, but mostly I coasted, hands-off the bars.  [I only successfully tried it last week, and already I'm very comfortable with it.  Seems that I was only afraid of falling; isn't that so true in many aspects of life?]

Usually I need aerobic exercise for the benefit, though my ninety minute yoga “flow” class can be beneficial, too.  I think I feel better for having done yoga rather than it makes me feel better from the inside out.

It’s why regular, sustained aerobic exercise is a top goal for me to achieve week in and week out for this year.  It’s a drug that has no ill side effects!

Ah, chiropractor appointment

I have a monthly appointment to get my spine back in alignment, and I always look forward to it.

As a result of my grieving, apparently I was a mess.  I say “apparently” because the body can acclimate to pain after a time, and when I walked into my appointment today, I wasn’t in any pain.  Fifteen minutes later, with some work on my upper spine, I was achy and sore.

The great part of my monthly appointments is that for the remainder of my day, my back and neck crack in a soothing and comfortable way.  My neck just cracked a few minutes ago, in fact.

I’m going to make cornbread as part of dinner tonight, as a side to some garbanzo bean curry.  That’s part of the fusion cuisine we serve here at our place.

Yesterday I did a weekly classic: pasta with marinara, with greens sauteed in garlic.  There’s color & flavor diversity, and I like to eat it all in one big bowl: red, green, white, acidic, sweet, and salty.  Afterward, I licked my chops just like my kitty does when we serve her wet food.

This is going to be a short entry, because I need to get horizontal and get my nap on.

Over and out.

Sanity

This blog has given me an unexpected amount of sanity and joy and sense of accomplishment.  It has brought me to myself, in a kind of public meditation.  It has been a wonderful present to myself.

I first contemplated blogging a year ago — I always like starting new things at the official beginning of something: a year, a month, a week, etc.   I even had a theme and had my husband quite excited about it, too.  But in my mind it became burdensome and not at all fun, so I gave up on the thing before I even started.

This time around, I wanted to accomplish something.  I didn’t want another journal full of handwritten pages in my flowing script, in my favorite ink colors.  No, I wanted an electronic record, one that would keep me honest.

Back around Labor Day, I saw a friend whom I hadn’t seen since the previous 4th of July, so about fourteen months.  He couldn’t have been any more different since July.

For one, he had just gotten engaged.  Back in July, he had been still licking his wounds from a breakup two months previous.  In September, he was overflowing with the newly-acquired love, extroverted and showing me pictures of the finance (Raising Arizona shout-out), funny, happy, and full of love.  There was nothing wrong in his world, no positive spin he couldn’t make.  He was a springtime daffodil bathed in sunlight.

Second, he had taken control of his diabetes through excellent diet control and increase in exercise.  As he put it, his doctor told him to eat better and get more exercise.  With the newly acquired girlfriend, he was taking Argentine tango classes and without her, he was practicing some sort of martial art.  He looked fantastic; he must have lost twenty pounds, possibly more.

Third, he was co-writing a novel with a SF writer of importance, as well as perfecting some stories for publication in SF magazines, in addition to his day job as a programmer at Apple.

From my viewpoint, his life was going as well as a life could.  As well as I wanted my life to go.  I felt like an overweight and uncreative beast, just denied entrance into a party of the slim and creative.  I was not unhappy with my life then, but extremely envious of his weight loss and his creative success: those were the two areas I felt lacking.

So this blog flows from that, as I know I need to write daily to become a better writer, just as I need to make smart choices about the food I eat daily.  For me, it’s a marathon and not a sprint, and that’s what makes it so hard.

I want to be the best me I can.  It sounds simple, but there are so many choices to make in my daily life.  And I’m meditating to help keep track of whether or not I’m in the present moment every moment, and exercising to get a good neurotransmitter rush as necessary, and setting goals so I know where I’m going.  I feel that I have been a bit aimless the last several years, a direct result of not having a path, a plan for getting where I want to be.  So I’m correcting the course in 2008, using tools, and this blog will offer me data on the journey.

And, happily, starting this blog has been nothing but fun and easy to do.

Namaste.

Sick a la Shel Silverstein

“I cannot go to school today,

said little Peggy Ann Mackay,

I have the measles and the mumps,

a gash, a rash, and purple bumps.”

This may have been the first poem I ever had to memorize in school, for Mrs. Grimshaw’s 4th grade class. Shel Silverstein was a big name in kid poetry back then, and I loved his collection of poems, _A Light in the Attic_, that he illustrated himself. The drawings are as whimsical and fun as the poetry. Even as an unsophisticated nine year old, I could recognize high caliber talent.

Committed to memory lo so many years ago, it is now in my long-term memory, or at least the first four lines of it. In “Sick,” after little Peggy lists her litany of symptoms and disorders, she realizes

“…what, you say to day is Saturday? Then I’m going out to play!” Love it. Three cheers for Shel Silverstein.

Last night’s lentil soup was delish but didn’t keep the sore throat and fatigue at bay. Husband went out to the farmer’s market without me, only to discover to his chagrin (such a fun turn of phrase!) that it was cancelled today, ostensibly for the holiday week. This is the first year in five that we are not in NY this Christmas week, so we didn’t know that’s how the farmer’s market schedule does.

For all we knew, our neighbors built an enormous bonfire in the middle of the block every Christmas Eve that burned right on through New Year’s Eve.

I weighed myself today, the first time in a while. Certainly the first time after all the butter-rich Christmas cookies, shortbread, homemade Russian tea cakes, blueberry cheesecake, Russian chocolates my sister’s patients gave to her as presents, Lindt dark chocolate truffles, See’s chocolate, Tully’s venti-v soy- mocha-no & a generous helping ofbuttery-streuselicious crumb cake and post-funeral banana bread with Scharffen Berger 70% chocolate, El Pollo Loco’s rotisserie pollo, Kung Pao Comedy’s veggie eggrolls and pre-Kung Pao Comedy’s barbecue pork buns and bamboo-leaf wrapped rice pyramids from a hole-in-the-wall on Stockton Street in SF Chinatown, and I had lost two pounds.

No kidding.

I have founded a new diet: rice (brown) & beans (black) for breakfast. The high-fiber, high-protein combo keeps my appetite in check until late enough in the day that I only eat two meals a day now.

No kidding.

It’s also the post-pet death diet, where I’m not that interested in food. Maybe it’s all the meditation I’ve been doing, also.

Whatever it is, it’s working, I’m not asking questions, and I’ve got more to lose before we fly to Kona in March, a scant 8 weeks away. -******************************* (That was Miss Thang adding her two cents, after jumping onto my desk).

Will have to expand on our Jewish-for-Christmas 2007 theme later.